If I’m being honest, I always thought I’d see her again. We’d talk… Maybe make out? It’s really dumb when I finish the thought. Funny, more than anything.
But I’m really sad today. I feel down, like I’m on the verge of crying. I think I just need to let it out…
I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I Googled her. I found four links at the top… To her wedding registry. She’s getting hitched. And good for her and whatnot.
Oh man, I’m just so… ugh. Not over it? I thought I was. I think I am. I am not. But it’s done. I’m sad.
I’m sad because that’s really it, but also because I’m listening to all these somber piano tracks… I think I want to be sad for a little bit. It’s over, and it’s not over. Not for me. For us, yes. It’s done, and it’s been done for a while now.
I can’t say I’ve been waiting around. I haven’t been. But I’ve been thinking about her. A little less than I used to, but at least once during any given week. She pops up in a story I share. Maybe Smol Bean Snark. It’s over. It’s a book I can’t read again. The texts are gone. The photos? Gone. All of it. Like it never happened. And maybe in my memories, my heart, the good and bad of it is where it should live until I forget… That’s just the said boy talking, though.
I loved her. I love her. I miss her. I’m resigned now, as I was before she opened her big mouth in 2018.